The 10 day wait

So we’re at the 10 day wait. A full ten-days of are you or aren’t you. IVF is a bugger for people much like me who have the patience of a child waiting for change for the ice-cream van. That’s probably why I was quite happy to take on IVF, a house sell and the prospect of a new renovation all at one – spread the impatience out a bit, soften the focus.

Tomorrow or the next day, our 10 day IVF wait will begin. Much like the ten days of Christmas but without the guaranteed presents, it’s a wring your hands, count down the days type of time.

It seems to be a doubly tough period for us. Much like a wolf on a full moon my feelings towards having my stepson for the weekend take on a massive shift. Panic and hopeless sobs become pretty normal. Friends, as I’ve written before are hard enough to tackle whilst you watch them coo over their little joy bundles but your husband cooing over a child that’s not yours? And it’s in your house and you can’t just leave if it gets too much? Well, that’s a whole nother level of tough.  It is a funny one as after our last negative test a couple of weeks went by and I felt normal again, I’ve continued to feel normal again until now, and I blame the wait. THe how will I feel if its a negative again, how will I feel if it’s a positive and then we loose it, how will I feel if we have to start all over again, how will I feel when I have my own child, how will I feel as the weeks progress and I’m still on the edge until 21 weeks. Etcetera Etcetera.

The wait plays havoc with your emotions. Not only do you know full well you are on the cusp of either the start of celebrations or working yourself back out of a hole of disappointment but you’re also pumped full of progesterone which really does nothing for ones moods…

So for 10 days you’re waiting, you’re pumping yourself full (in the bum with a massive needle) of a hormone that makes you anxious and moody and all the while you know that if this doesn’t work you have to start again… to all intents and purposes it’s not what I would call fun.

The only solution I have, is find a distraction. Nothing to strenuous though you understand as it’s meant to be a restful 10 day wait…restful my arse (no pun intended!), when I read that on my clinic sheets in the paragraph before the needle pictures I had to LOL.

The jury however, from what I’ve read is out on what you should and shouldn’t do during this period. Some say bed rest which I think it totally extreme. Others say go on with your normal life. I think a middle ground makes the most sense. Once the egg’s in there it has as much chance as any to embed itself. A natural egg lazily rolls on down the fallopian tubes, drops into the womb and has to embed itself in the same way. And people who have hot baths, drive, swim and carry the shopping still get pregnant so…

If we had some extra pennies and I didn’t have to work at the same time I would book us a nice little holiday during this time. Somewhere close by with no flying, maybe the Isle of Wight. And just remind ourselves why we got together in the first place – when life wasn’t about blood tests and babies. So if you’re about to embark on a 10 day wait, have some pennies and can take some time off work – do just that. If you can’t keep calm, put it out of your mind and know that before you know it, one way or the other, it’ll be over  ❤️

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