Have you ever noticed that you behave differently with different people? That you would do certain things with some of your friends you would never dream of doing with others? Maybe that some make you feel totally different after hanging out with them?
This is the power that certain people, places and situations have over us. And this can be good, or it can be bad – they key is recognising which and surrounding yourself with the former.
With my life coaching clients something we often do is take a look at their nearest and dearest, friends, family, work colleagues to work out which of these are truly great and which should be placed a little farther outside the main circle.
No man or woman is an island and we all give and take, sometimes in unequal measures from each other to carve ourselves, our goals, our behaviour, our beliefs and more. If you don’t have the right people around you – or worse, if you do but you don’t recognise or appreciate them, this is seriously detrimental to your development and journey.
If you want to be great, if you want to be successful, happy, inspired, then you must be sure that the people around you are, and make you feel- exactly that.
Keep the ones that support you, move to arms length the ones that put you down or show no interest in what you are trying to achieve.
Furthermore seek out those that actively inspire you – we all need role models but these don’t need to be distant people that you never meet. They can be people you find and strike up a relationship with because you are helping one another to succeed or people you have known your whole life.
Work it out:
- Write down each of your closest companions then make a list of each of their attributes:
- Why they make you feel good, or bad
- What they bring to the table. Are they massively thoughtful, do they bring you new information, do they simply just make you feel good with their mood and support.
- What of their character could you learn from and thus reflect in yours?
- What is noble and good about them? What is not so noble?
Learn who you should appreciate and who you should spend more time in the company of.
If one of your friends attributes goes a little like;
- We drink together
- They’re always there for the drama
- They encourage me to act out, and though this is fun it does not get me any further to where I want to be
- They distract me when I am having a good run
- They aren’t doing too much with their lives and seem to not understand my want to.
This is a person that you need to manage. You don’t need to cut them off necessarily – but you do need to be mindful of where the interaction with them takes you.
If you want to do great things, having great people around you will make that happen.
Choose your relationships wisely, invest time in them, always appreciate them and learn from their good qualities- take them on board as your own.