How To Stay Strong When Overwhelm Kills Positive Thinking Dead in the Water
I am a massive advocate of positive thinking and visualisation. I find it works so well for so many of my coaching clients. I find it works well for me too..
Two Christmases ago I was pretty down in the dumps, I had been single for a year, was about to hit the grand old age of 33 and I was getting panicked about work, moving on with life, being single forever etc… it was a weak period for me. So I made a decision. By the following Christmas I would be with a lovely man, that made me brilliantly happy, so much so I would bring him home for the festive season (this would be a first for me as an only child with a very small family). I thought about it as I fell asleep each night. My mantra went along the lines of –
2016 is an amazing year. My work is going from strength to strength and I am with the most amazing man.
It was that simple.
In January I met my now finance who spent last Christmas with me and my little family. And 2016 was an amazing year. We did so much, work escalated and I can honestly say last year was amazing.
Then this year hit…
So far since January, my Father had a heart attack (he is recovering well now), I moved to a new home that has taken far more money and time to renovate than we intended, we’ve had a string of nightmare builders- each of which we have had to sack, all the while living in a building site (try working from home when you have 1 1/2 live-able rooms and a veil of dust on your keyboard). To top it all off my dog had a strange limp which turned into a slipped disc, highlighting a spinal disease which has kept him in a cage for a month and me near-on chained to the same room looking after him.
Suffice to say the first three months of this year have not been fun and although I have tried my hardest to put positive thoughts and visualisation into practice these shitty situations just keep on coming.
And for a time it was really beginning to get to me, for a while I got really quite down. I stopped believing that any mantras would make any difference, worried that I would be too disappointed if they didn’t work so my heart and trust left them. After a good 2 or three days of finding it very hard to muster any positivity for myself I decided it was time to change tact. Clearly I was not in the right place for visualisation and positive thinking. What was going to get me through this period was resolute action.
I decided and accepted that like it or not, there were a number of things I couldn’t do a whole lot about and getting down about them was totally counter productive – the speed of the house build, the fact that the dog had to be in a cage for a month and even when out would have to have a revised life to protect his back, the fact I was to be working in a distracting building site for the next 2 months… What I could do was take action where possible to make myself feel better.
So last week I began to study separation anxiety and training techniques in dogs. So as when Tank (the dog) does come out the cage I can have a better control on him to keep him calm.
I am making sure that all building materials are ordered in advance for our renovation and that I am on top of our current builders daily to do my bit to make sure we finish as early as possible. I have also bulk bought dust and Dettol wipes to make the whole experience a bit better in the mean time!
I have changed my day around and set my alarm earlier so I have quiet space in the morning to concentrate on work before builders arrive.
I have accepted that the start of this year needs time and situations are, at present simply how they are. I have taken action where I can and as a result I feel far better, much less hopeless and able to believe in a new visualisation mantra for this year. You have to be 100% on board with positive thinking, visualisations and the law of attraction if they are to work for you.
So if any of my struggles at the start of this year are ringing true with you – you feel like things are raining down on you and nothing you seem to project or try to attract is helping – take action in two forms, one in deciding to accept the things you can’t change and one in doing things about the small bits you can.
- How can I actively make this better?
- Am I helping the situation feeling down? Might it be better to let go of the feels and turn my attention to something more positive – you can start small – making a cup of tea and using it to re-focus?
- What can I learn or teach myself in order to be in a better situation to deal with this?
- How can I prepare for the next stage now so I feel like I’m doing something to make it better?